Undeterred by the culinary trauma associated with the previous week's visit to The Rusty Nail, the Trail Taste Adventure relentlessly continued north into restaurant-rich Loveland in a committed quest to identify eating spots along the Trail which merit recommendation. On Wednesday, September 20, this determination took John and George, along with Dr. Pete Hostetter, to Kirby's (known as Sleepy Hollow many years ago), located just a stone's throw from the Trail at the southern end of Loveland. While it fronts on Bridge Street, and has a door there near the sign depicting the place's namesake, the main entrance to the restaurant is in the rear. There is decent parking and a bike rack is conveniently located for patrons coming off the Trail. Kirby’s provides a comfortable, low key, family-friendly, unpretentious (plywood sheet floors) atmosphere. There is full bar service, including a number of craft beers on draft, and a unique all-one-price lunch menu; all lunches are $8.95, except the pulled pork sandwich, only $7.95. Service was fast, friendly, accommodating and efficient.

Dr. Pete went for Kirby's fish 'n chips; John opted for a bacon/cheese omelet with jalapeno peppers, which comes with tater tots and toast of your choice; and George, committed to being difficult, asked if he could get ANYTHING other than the standard fries with his order of panko-breaded grouper. In place of fries, he enjoyed at no extra cost a delightful side salad with blue cheese crumbles and blue cheese dressing.

All agreed that although the food was not exceptional, Kirby's delivers very good food at reasonable prices. It’s just 400 feet from the Trail, and 2.5 miles south of the Loveland staging area. There is a dinner menu as well, which offers more selections and full meal items.  Good proximity to the Trail, availability of a convenient bike rack, and a comfortable, welcoming atmosphere makes it a definite stop while out for a ride, walk or run on the Trail.

Kirby's
378 Bridge St., Loveland, OH
Phone: 513/239-8890
Hours: 11 a.m. to 1 a.m.
Website: kirbysinloveland.com

Well, it was bound to eventually happen: The TTA crew (John and George, accompanied by Joe Hermann and Fred Kindred) finally hit rock bottom when on September 13 their lunch adventures took them to The Rusty Nail, a motorcycle bar (AKA a dive) located in a late 1800s building in Miamiville just a few blocks from the Trail.

Despite having scouted the place two weeks previously, enjoying a beer there and being assured by the barmaid that customers could get burgers "any way they desired," neither John nor George (much less Joe or Fred, who made the sad mistake of believing we wouldn't lead them astray) were prepared for the absolute WORST eating experience since the very beginning of the TTA reviews! Since the place was just an unpretentious, dimly lit biker bar, staples such as relatively low priced burgers, fries, onion rings and appetizers appeared on the simple menu. All beers were bottled or canned—none on draft. Lunch patronage was exceptionally light, which should have immediately warned us.

John, Joe and George all ordered a beer, while Fred chose a canned Pepsi. Had we known what awaited us, we would have prudently stopped there; but, no, we pressed on, and made the grim mistake of actually ordering food—which was the beginning of the long downhill slide. In keeping with the tone of the place, John, Joe and George ordered various types of burgers, but asked each be cooked to order. This flummoxed the poor waitress, who said, “Our machine (!) takes 8 minutes to cook burgers, so if you want them done differently, I'll have to do them one at a time." We told her we were willing to wait, but we did each want our burger cooked to order. Hearing this, Fred opted for quesadillas, and John asked for jalapeño poppers for the table (a decision he eventually came to regret on the drive home).

Indeed, it did take a while for the food to appear, so a second round of drinks was ordered. When Fred tried his quesadillas, he promptly commented, "I am totally underwhelmed!" The rest of us were initially pleased with the impressive size of the burgers served, but that was the last of the positives; we immediately agreed they were probably the absolute worst any of us had ever tried to eat. John did manage to finish his, but not Joe; George gave up on his after a few bites (he initially thought of boxing it up and taking it home to feed to some neighborhood dog, but then realized he didn't know any dogs he hated that badly). In fairness, George wasn't charged for his burger, which was probably the sole bright spot of the entire sorry experience.

Bottom line: The consensus of the TTA Crew was that The Rusty Nail merits exactly ZERO bells, and Trail users should be warned away from the place. If you elect to go there, we recommend nothing be consumed which doesn't come from a sealed container.

The Rusty Nail
339 Center St. (St. Rt. 126), Miamiville, OH
Phone: 513/831-6245
Hours: Sun. through Sat., 11 a.m. to 1 a.m.

September 2017

On August 30 TTA's dynamic duo again took their lunch reviewing act on the road to The Village Grocery, adjacent to the Little Miami Trail where it crosses St. Rt. 126, a few hundred yards upstream from the trail's bridge over the Little Miami River.  If you frequent the southern end of the Little Miami State Park, especially in Miamiville, you’ve seen The Village Grocery.  If you’ve never thought to stop in, this review may leave you wondering, “Why not?”

We kind of knew what to expect, but we were a little surprised at the quality of the food and popularity of the store.  The Village Grocery is exactly that—a well-stocked and good-sized local convenience store which also serves hot breakfasts and lunches with hot dogs, burgers, four types of soup, and overstuffed sandwiches.  We got there about noon and the parking lot already had several cars in it.  We parked on the street adjacent to the trail. 

The menu is posted on the wall behind the counter where you enter. Be ready, because when they call “Next,” you need to order. There will be plenty of people behind you waiting their turn.  Patrons order at a counter along one wall, eventually have their paper-wrapped food handed to them, and then pay at a cash register.  There are lots of options including a special each day. Today’s special was meat loaf, mashed potatoes, and a vegetable. As good as that sounded, we weren’t interested in such a large meal for lunch. We both wanted the Rueben. Holding to the unwritten rule, we didn’t both order it. 

George won the Reuben rights, and it came stacked high with corned beef. At $7.20 with a drink, it was plenty for his appetite.

John decided on the roast beef deli sandwich with fries ($8.37).  Although there was a burger on the menu, I wanted to change it up a little, and since this is a deli I knew there would be a stack of meat on the sandwich. I wasn’t disappointed. With a good two inches of roast beef to start, I had a choice of bread, cheese, and garden products. I went with rye, Swiss and tomato, finished with mayonnaise and mustard, and a side of French fries. The food arrived quickly; the roast beef was good and there was plenty of it.  The fries were a little under cooked and not salted.  I probably would have been happier with some chips. I think anything on the menu would have been really good.

After getting your food you can either sit at one of the five inside tables or move outside to the three umbrella-shaded picnic tables.  Realistically, this is not an eating place for those wanting a sit-down, chef-prepared meal, but this certainly did not discourage the many patrons who swarmed the place at lunch hour; it actually was one of the busiest locations that we have visited so far.  Service was prompt, cheerful and efficient, but the emphasis was, understandably, on moving the large lunch crowd through as quickly as possible.

This is not the place to stop if you are looking for atmosphere, but it’s excellent for a quick bite at a great price. If you’re not looking for a full lunch or dinner, you can get a power drink and a snack to fuel up for the rest of your journey on the trail. George had conflicts with flies and bees, and he wasn’t thrilled with eating so close to their two dumpsters.  He gives the Village Grocery two-and-a-half bells.  John rates it three-and-a-half bells for its proximity to the trail, good food, and grocery-store convenience, making a three-bell average.

The Village Grocery
385 Loveland-Miamiville Rd., Miamiville, OH
Phone: 513/831-9500
Hours: Mon. through Sat., 5:30 am to 8:00 pm; Sunday 9 to 6
 

September 2017